38 Undateable Online Dating Profiles:
Quick Recap: I did an Experiment with my friend Bob Ladewig where we created 38 Undateable characters and tracked the results. It started with a Crazy Cat Lady and then spiraled into more characters. And a live stage show (#DateMe: An OkCupid Experiment).
But not all the characters could make the show. And the interactions are too funny (and Unbelievable!) not to explore.
Every Week I’m posting one of our FAKE Undateable characters. As well as some of the REAL Verbatim Interactions we had with OkCupid users.
It’s Halloween Month, So Let’s Go To the Dark Side.
That’s Right. This month we’re featuring our Spookiest Undateable profiles.
Note: This is a Current Screenshot of her profile. “LightsOutGrl” is 30 now, but four years ago when we did the actual experiment she was only 26.
Here’s the FULL Profile:
The Profile Pictures:
Note: The Captions are the REAL Captions on the OkCupid profile.
LightsOutGrl’s Real Name?
But I also had to create separate Email addresses for all the characters when I posted them to OkCupid. Let’s just pretend this Was NOT completely Insane and Obsessive behavior and move forward…
LightsOutGrl’s Real Life Info:
Lives in – New York, New York
Birthday – October 21, 1985
Email – DarkTime76@gmail.com
So Who Responded To This Absurd Character?
TONS of people. LightsOutGrl was a very Popular character.
In fact, when I logged back on to capture some of the old messages for this post I was bombarded with notices of people looking at her profile and sending NEW messages. It was stressing me out because I couldn’t keep up!
I think it’s pretty obvious the connotations of living in the dark. And the most popular (and obvious) messages were about…
Revealing Secrets, Candlelight & Wine…
Almost EVERYONE wanted to hang in the dark by candlelight, drink red wine, and tell secrets. There are too many of these to post and I want to get to the more specific stuff.
A handful of guys also inquired about my short stories. I thought that was sweet. Always major props to men who pull specifics out of the profiles!
Let’s just get THIS out of the way…
We’ll cleanse our palette with this…
Aww… pretty adorable, Adam. Thank you for not judging me! And I dig the exclamation point after your name… as if you’re hearing it for the First Time!!!
Inevitably there are always people who like the character and want to play along.
Wow. This ridiculous profile made someone’s day? Ok. I’ll take it!
Awww… I am NOT real. But I DO love the description of being “Torn from Dickens”.
And I appreciated these:
Got that one a couple times.
Not my intention, but I’ll take it!
The Slightly Creepy/Absurd…
I should not have been surprised that this character attracted some strange responses…
I’m curious WHERE he’s doing this??? At work? In a public bathroom? Why are people walking in on him?
People ALWAYS wanna get those cat references in!
Ha! Arthur, WHAT?!?!
“Why are you judging your friends by the lighting in their homes?” you ding dong!
I don’t always want to come back to the grammar thing but this was just too good.
Hm. Glad that people want to ingest me???
REAL Verbatim Dialogue. Read On If You Dare…
I had a lot of fun playing this character. And I don’t wanna brag but I think my responses are pretty freaking funny. It just felt easy to tap into this character for some reason.
Here are some of my favorite convos.
Also, what a tool I am. I called that guy Dan and his name is clearly STAN.
Riddles/Fill In The Blank:
Guys always love to do these standard Fill in the Blank or Riddle type attention getters. I’m glad he tells me it’s fun in advance!
And another one…
I love how this next one ends…
HAHA! Props to that guy.
This Next One Takes A Turn…
Wow. What?! This guy was just WAITING to get that flashlight joke in!
GROSS, “otherdog”. Gross!
And This Guy Kept Coming Back…
A few days later…
Oh, my friend, that TORSO pic is all I need.
I literally only replied once to this Torso but he keeps coming back!
So is LightsOutGrl Undateable?
The above stats mean:
- 215 People viewed the profile
- 335 People “Liked” it
- 112 New Messages.
Those stats change at any given moment after I’ve read the messages. But this gives you a pretty good idea that…
LightsOutGrl = Very Dateable
She was very popular. And fulfilled a lot of dark fantasies.
But what about you?
Would YOU Message A Girl Who Was Repulsed By The Light?
What would you say? Comment below!
And stay tuned for another UNDATEABLE character Next Week!